First set of thoughts

So the day started with brisk walk and stretching­čĹŹ. That’s a pretty good start for the day. Why is it good? it is good because it gives immense energy that you usually miss when you wake up at 10 or 11 which is very near to noon. You breathe in a lot of positivity and try to drain everything that happened the previous day. Further it is more important because it helps me to be fit. I clearly remember the time when I was free after giving my NM interview(Mumbai), I used to wake up regularly and in fact woke up two knuckleheads to go along with me for workout. As I am at home, I am accompanied by my mom, a lovely lady and mother, as she cant walk fast I have to match my brisk with her so that she’s not left behind. I miss meditation a lot, I am not able to perform it as there’s no place to sit in the park and i don’t think home is the nice place for it as it won’t last for more than 20 seconds. I saw a bitch which usually sits outside our house. Pretty much scared and petrified, it can’t even stand a small noise and is ready to leave the town on a small tap on the ground. I don’t want to be a bitch…to explain it further,i would not like to be suppressed by situations and will give a tough fight as i remember the line I usually used for myself that there is always a way out of even the toughest circumstances in the world. I still take my stand of clearing MBA exams once again to be in one of the best college. I have not committed a crime or may be I did one of checking myself and my right actions again and again when actually the situations demanded a little bit of courage and confidence. I give myself a week more to figure out things…and figuring out doesn’t mean to just sit and wait for situations to untangle…I will get up and do things to sort this phase out… Bye blog…take care

Picking myself once again

I myself have to pick my life once again. I have to be independent and confident. I should be ebullient as i was so that my spirit don’t die…

I feel energised when I talk.

Important point that i want to make here is…that I was very ambitious right from the start of my life’s journey. But some guilt and regrets turned me down. When I will put sole focus of mine to improve my life then obviously the chances of my falling into any stupidity will be bleak.

Now I take the charge of my life. I will decapitate my miseries and hunt for opportunities that can help me grow.

Good nite Blog…

Intelligent side up…

It is been whole day that i was not able to think about anything else but talking to my mom and dad about the thing that is bothering me. I never thought that i will see such kind of phase in my life where i don’t know what is going to happen next…or may be I do see only destruction that is about to arrive in my life in the years that are about to come.
If I don’t really involve myself in work I will keep on thinking about all this that is not at all important at least for now.

I thought about this last time too…and spoiled many things. One amongst them is my career. I am again standing on the point where I have to take decisions about my professional life.

Now everything is in a more enhanced form and any decision taken now can shape my entire life in a good or bad way. The problem lies inside my own self. Emotional side sucks I know this thing well. No matter what I think or what the other person goes through if one has to cry than one will cry. You are not responsible for anybody’s career except yourself. How the hell can you think about taking responsibility of other person when you cannot shape your own future. Stupid thoughts come in mind only when you are free.

Keep yourself indulged in your life. I understand now how important is work for a living being. Wrote enough for the day. See you later.

Learning…

I have to separate my professional and personal life. This is very imperative as the disappointments in one doesn’t mean that other phase will be necessarily bad.

I have got wonderful parents. Very loving and understanding. But if i want that they will provide me a helicopter helping and will take me out of my miseries then I should understand this that it is not possible. The fact that you are not able to do something justifies that they are helpless since it is not there area of work. So I should stop blaming them. They are not to be blamed but are to be respected for giving so much that was difficult to arrange at their end.

Their is a burden on my heart. The reason is that other person is unhappy and troubled. I don’t like it that way. But stil to be practical enough I should understand that nothing can be done at this point of time and thus thinking unnecessarily and continuously about it will let you loose other things that are important for this phase.

As I said in the last blog…I should know how to separate my personal and professional life. God bless me…I know I can win. Just the need is to be patient and be happy so that positivity gushes out in you every vein.

Confused me…

A day that started with positivity and ended with frustration. Last few days had been a total turmoil: very bad conversation with dad, disappointment with useless job offers, and stupid mind focussing on shit conversations rather than on things that are actually important. I have understood the importance of working hard to be an expert in a particular field. Though I have realised it very late, a lot of the time has been already wasted. But this will be a learning for me throughout my life that how important role preparation plays in the life of a person.

The important thing for which I took a step ahead to resolve doesn’t seem like it will get resolved anytime in future. I don’t like people crying and weeping. Neither I ever knew how much attachment plays role in human beings life. Something can really not be resolved before the right time comes. By then the best we cn do is, to at least control ourselves and don’t aggravate the already fucked up situations.

I recently realised the biggest reason I am not able to move ahead in life. Copying people which helped me to rise in life is now backfiring. Since I was not able to make my identity in the time in which I thought will be enough for me…so this frustration has brought in me inferiority complex. This now harms me. I don’t appreciate other people. The solution can be to appreciate others effort and achievements along with a commitment that I will work for my own cause…my own reason for which I want to live.

No matter whatever happens…I will work to make my life beautiful and happy once again.

YET ANOTHER shit

So the day was not different from others. After a sound sleep that I had…I woke up in order to make my day if not different then at least like what I want it to be. A slow internet took me half an hour to just load investopedia, which did not move further after that. Small quarrel with sister so as to regulate her life and not to turn up like mine lead to a set of arguments which increased my frustration levels. Now I was thinking what worst it can be…how can my day be spoiled further. During these very thoughts I did messages to people that was not at all needed. Now its 1:30 pm…I have not even taken bath by now…I can see small kids playing outside my house…I feel jealous sometimes as I miss my carefree times.

Nevertheless its almost midday and I planning to bring myself back on track once again.

I am planning to read ET and do some research on what business development executive actually does as I have an interview planned on 11th.

I know only one thing…that I wanna be in IIM. The journey has stretched to a great extent. But if I look at it through other side…then yet another opportunity has turned up on my doorstep…I will grab this.

All the best to me…see u soon

First should be treated like last(1)

Today’s morning was a bit different unlike every other morning that I have to experience. The same old restlessness was not present today. The surety that I will be able to make through in one of the good colleges was shattered. Its been 2 years by now that i have passed out from college…somewhere I feel that I could have utilised these years more wisely, with more efforts and more sensibility. The vision that i had was not backed up by research. I could put it as, a person wants to be a doctor but looks only for the ulterior thing in it, which is money. So my quest was only a good college and satisfaction without looking what I actually want from mba.

Life has given me one more year to build myself and embrace opportunities that I can use to satisfy myself…to live life like…like… (to be true, I was going to write elites in it, but I feel I need to bring in product differentiation into picture…which will define real me) after thinking a lot I came up with that I want to live like me. My problem has been that I am trying to live like everybody else and not like me. Though this has helped me become what I am today but now the situations demand a big overhaul.

No more fears, no more condescending…just do the best….I love to be busy and enjoy.

See you later blog….thanx for taking me through these thoughts.